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Ideas That Build Resilience & Create Meaningful Change

Unsure about your next goal?

So many people are ready for change, and capable of making change happen, and yet, stay right where they are. Whether its a relationship, career or not starting that business, they know they want to change, but completely freeze up when it comes time to make a decision.

The problem is that outside of a college degree or career field selection, we weren't really taught how to dream! Kids dream all the time, and to them ANYTHING is possible! But we grow up, and reality hits us across the face a few times, we start to shrink ourselves down and question our own choices and options, and as Jim Carey said in his famous graduation speech, we let pragmatism be the excuse we use against dreaming at all.

I find it fascinating that a lot of people I meet tell me they aren't ready to hire a coach because they don't know what their goals are yet. Imagine that....waiting until you know your plan to hire the pro. Think about it. Do you wait until you're physically fit to hire a personal trainer? Do you wait until you are flexible to get to a yoga studio? Do you wait until the fire is out before you call the fire department? NO! That's sort of what we do! Understanding your goals is what makes change and making decisions that much easier. So stop working backwards and get in with me today!

My favorite analogy for goal setting was always that you can figure it out as you go. No, we don't want to be willy-nilly changing direction at any whiff of an obstacle, but at the same time, you definitely don't need to have it all sorted out yet either!

Fellow coach Stacy Kim, wrote this article, describing goal setting as a lighthouse analogy. And it couldn't be more perfect. Basically, what she says is that some people are so dead set on having the plan laid out perfectly with every step in exact detail, that they never actually get in the boat and start moving.

Think about that for a minute. I have yet to meet a successful client that this didn't resonate with. Of course, there are situations where it helps to wait until we know exactly how we are going to make something happen before we dive in. You don't want to jump out of an airplane without a parachute, right?! But life isn't an airplane. Most of the decisions my clients struggle to make (changing jobs, starting the business, etc) is hardly life or death.

Sometimes all you get to know, and all you should know are steps A, B & C. Because the other reality is that goals should be flexible! What happens if you get to step L, M, N and a huge opportunity presents itself?! Are you going to say no and begrudgingly head toward steps O, P, Q, and R in your life? NO!!!! The lighthouse model relays this perfectly. You can know it's out there, but not know what color it is yet. You can know it's there, but not how big it really is. You'll figure that out when you get there.

Same thing with goals. If you have some general ideas (freedom of schedule, more family time, a position with "x" company) then you have your goal! No need to fret if you don't have the details yet. You don't have to know what steps S, T, and U will be, just step foot on step A! You can figure those other steps out as you get closer. Just get in the boat, just get started, because you have to take those first steps to even have a chance of getting that major opportunity to pivot later! Or stay on the shore, the choice really is yours.

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