How do I? Where do I? Is it possible? What would you?
As a coach, I've heard a lot of questions. Really good questions from really smart people.
It is amazing to me how we all (me included!) can get so wrapped around the axle on problems, issues, projects and life's obstacles. An awkward interaction with a friend or coworker, a hard-to-motivate employee, or (GASP!) a mistake you've made, can be enough to derail the smartest people for weeks on end. Whether we use excuses, blame others, or just ruminate on it, we all tend to do the same thing with our problems, we avoid them!
But no matter the situation, no matter the problem, the solution tends to always come back to the same thing:
Think about it. Having money problems? Trouble with kids? Problem coworker? No matter your obstacle, the reason it seems insurmountable, is that you aren't being honest with yourself about the problem. You aren't giving yourself all of the facts, or if you have the facts, they seem so uncomfortable that you keep searching for more facts that might make the next steps more bearable. Slow down a bit, and separate the facts from your emotions.
Tough conversation with a family member? Take the emotion out, and what are you left with? Are they doing something risky? Are they doing something you're not comfortable with? Is that their problem? That's the discussion you need to have.
Got an employee who's not performing? Have you talked to them about it? (Wait, that's a thing?!) Ask them what's going on. Ask them if you both still agree on the job description and the expectations, and ask them how you can help. It doesn't have to be a disciplinary conversation, you don't have to put them on the hot seat. You are merely asking them to help you figure out if there's something bigger going on that you need to be aware of in your business. So often we are afraid to upset an employee that we forget that we all have blind spots, and if you're a manager, your job is to help acknowledge them so everyone is successful!
Need to learn something new? Guess what, that takes time. There's no quick trick, there's no one tutorial that will make you an expert at whatever you are trying to learn. No, only practice, time and more practice will get you there. And you know this.
So go, get on with your bad self, and be honest. Are you telling yourself the truth?